I wouldn't say that I want to kill myself, but I will say that I have recently hoped to get hit by a truck.

I take it back now, it sounds dreadful on a number of levels, more than just physical. but at the time, I wouldn't have minded one bit.



I feel like most people say that they want to be there for me just because they feel bad. then they realize it's not worth the trouble, and I don't blame them. I can't even help myself. I shouldn't become their burden.

I am drained. and I'm still sad that I'm disappointing people left and right. I think it's driving me deeper into this hole. I just want everyone to be happy. I feel like I shouldn't be until they're happy with me.

I hate this.