I think this world is a funny place.
I don't think people get what they're doing half the time.
everything can go wrong and yet people still freak out about morals and tradition.
obviously, your age old tradition isn't working out so well.
the world is a changing growing place. we need to treat it like that.
progress is necessary.
if you stuck to crawling your whole life because it worked for you as a baby, you wouldn't get too far, would you?
if you sit there bitching and moaning about how screwed up everything is, then fight tooth and nail against a change for the better, you're being your own barrier.
why don't people get that?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
musicians
you're artists.
sound and air are your tools.
your canvas is any open space.
don't leave anything blank.
sound and air are your tools.
your canvas is any open space.
don't leave anything blank.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
singing
sometimes when I sing,
and I mean, really sing and get into it,
I feel like the air around my body is vibrating and encasing me in a completely new way.
I feel like I'm on a different level of feeling, and I feel like nothing around can hurt me.
It's the most difficult thing in the world to explain.
I don't even feel myself shift into that state, but when I snap out of it, I always have to re-assess where I am. Then I just want to get back there, again though.
maybe this is the most natural state a person can reach, and I reach it that way through this form of art.
and I mean, really sing and get into it,
I feel like the air around my body is vibrating and encasing me in a completely new way.
I feel like I'm on a different level of feeling, and I feel like nothing around can hurt me.
It's the most difficult thing in the world to explain.
I don't even feel myself shift into that state, but when I snap out of it, I always have to re-assess where I am. Then I just want to get back there, again though.
maybe this is the most natural state a person can reach, and I reach it that way through this form of art.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I don't think there's anything as fascinating as the human ear.
Think of sound. Think of what it is.
In reality, it's our brains interpreting waves in the air.
Our ear catches the vibrations, they travel through, hit our eardrum, vibrate the ossicles, moves the amplified noise into our cochlea, which then divides the frequencies, and finally transfers it to our cochlear nerve, which leads to our brain.
it sounds crazy, but after learning about it for a month in audio, it's completely fascinating.
our ear tells us if we're on our side or standing upright.
but what really gets me about it is sound.
sound--an interpretation of waves moving through the air. how we interpret vibrations.
we are literally built to hear music, to hear waves around us and make something of them.
how incredible is that?!
think of all the things that go on around you... sounds you don't even know you're hearing half the time.
you can literally sit in the middle of a busy neighborhood, listen to all the different frequencies moving through the air, and form SOMETHING musical out of it.
I love the subway.
I love hearing breaks squeak, heals click, things tap, the hum of a moving train.
and how do I hear it?
it makes a vibration
that moves through my ear
that my ear catches and directs into my brain
if a tree falls in a forest, and nothing or no one is around to hear it, it won't make a sound. sound is simply an interpretation of waves.
don't argue and say an animal will be around to hear it, it's obviously a hypothetical situation.
nothing is there to catch the waves and turn it into a sound.
how lonely that must be.
and when you think of how sound effects you it's even more incredible.
it switches moods, it saves lives... an instrumental song can sum up everything that words can't say.
what power... I could go on for days.
Think of sound. Think of what it is.
In reality, it's our brains interpreting waves in the air.
Our ear catches the vibrations, they travel through, hit our eardrum, vibrate the ossicles, moves the amplified noise into our cochlea, which then divides the frequencies, and finally transfers it to our cochlear nerve, which leads to our brain.
it sounds crazy, but after learning about it for a month in audio, it's completely fascinating.
our ear tells us if we're on our side or standing upright.
but what really gets me about it is sound.
sound--an interpretation of waves moving through the air. how we interpret vibrations.
we are literally built to hear music, to hear waves around us and make something of them.
how incredible is that?!
think of all the things that go on around you... sounds you don't even know you're hearing half the time.
you can literally sit in the middle of a busy neighborhood, listen to all the different frequencies moving through the air, and form SOMETHING musical out of it.
I love the subway.
I love hearing breaks squeak, heals click, things tap, the hum of a moving train.
and how do I hear it?
it makes a vibration
that moves through my ear
that my ear catches and directs into my brain
if a tree falls in a forest, and nothing or no one is around to hear it, it won't make a sound. sound is simply an interpretation of waves.
don't argue and say an animal will be around to hear it, it's obviously a hypothetical situation.
nothing is there to catch the waves and turn it into a sound.
how lonely that must be.
and when you think of how sound effects you it's even more incredible.
it switches moods, it saves lives... an instrumental song can sum up everything that words can't say.
what power... I could go on for days.
Friday, April 23, 2010
I seem to have been fitted with a weirdo magnet sometime before college.
I have gained quite the following of what I refer to as 'creepers'.
my most recent one irks me on several levels.
but I think what irks me the most is that he's one of those guys who basically feeds you compliments constantly.
when I was younger I thought I'd like that, but now it gets on my nerves.
not that that's all I'm turned off by, I mean the fact that his life revolves around playing video games and avoiding the sun/outdoors is enough to bother me. (not to mention, he cyber-stalks) but the constant praising really doesn't sit right with me.
I always thought it'd be nice for a guy to tell me all the things he found great about me.
but now I'm more mature, and I really don't need a guy to sit there and shower me with compliments.
I don't need someone else to try to point out the good in me.
I can identify it myself.
and if I can't, someone listing it for me probably won't do much, anyway.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not the best looking girl.
my figure isn't like Kim K's.
my hair never does what I want it to.
but I have my own unique flaws
I have my own unique physical traits
my figure is nobody's but alannah's
and my hair is all mine, and as in-cooperative as it is, some people don't have any, and I'm very lucky.
on top of that, I like how I write. I like how I'm able to look at the world like no one else can. I like how hard I try, even when everyone else tells me not to bother.
I love how even on a bad day, I can get out of bed, look in the mirror, and face myself with pride and a smile, and honestly promise myself that everything will be okay.
I don't need any guy to tell me any of that.
I never will.
I have gained quite the following of what I refer to as 'creepers'.
my most recent one irks me on several levels.
but I think what irks me the most is that he's one of those guys who basically feeds you compliments constantly.
when I was younger I thought I'd like that, but now it gets on my nerves.
not that that's all I'm turned off by, I mean the fact that his life revolves around playing video games and avoiding the sun/outdoors is enough to bother me. (not to mention, he cyber-stalks) but the constant praising really doesn't sit right with me.
I always thought it'd be nice for a guy to tell me all the things he found great about me.
but now I'm more mature, and I really don't need a guy to sit there and shower me with compliments.
I don't need someone else to try to point out the good in me.
I can identify it myself.
and if I can't, someone listing it for me probably won't do much, anyway.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not the best looking girl.
my figure isn't like Kim K's.
my hair never does what I want it to.
but I have my own unique flaws
I have my own unique physical traits
my figure is nobody's but alannah's
and my hair is all mine, and as in-cooperative as it is, some people don't have any, and I'm very lucky.
on top of that, I like how I write. I like how I'm able to look at the world like no one else can. I like how hard I try, even when everyone else tells me not to bother.
I love how even on a bad day, I can get out of bed, look in the mirror, and face myself with pride and a smile, and honestly promise myself that everything will be okay.
I don't need any guy to tell me any of that.
I never will.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I was long overdue for a lame poem.
how do you mend a broken heart
when the pieces are all scattered,
when none of them are even with you,
like it never really mattered?
and how do you demand the return
of something you willingly gave away,
and thought would be safe with someone
who you thought was there to stay?
if I had saved it for someone else,
or even kept it on a shelf,
it would still be whole,
and I'd have saved it for myself
I wonder where you tossed it,
or if you even thought to keep it?
I wonder if you did
and you're just keeping it a secret
maybe if you bring it back,
I'll now know what not to do,
but if you came around me,
I'd probably still want to leave it with you
so if you have my broken heart,
and would like to let me mend it,
please don't bring it here yourself,
I'd ask you just to send it.
when the pieces are all scattered,
when none of them are even with you,
like it never really mattered?
and how do you demand the return
of something you willingly gave away,
and thought would be safe with someone
who you thought was there to stay?
if I had saved it for someone else,
or even kept it on a shelf,
it would still be whole,
and I'd have saved it for myself
I wonder where you tossed it,
or if you even thought to keep it?
I wonder if you did
and you're just keeping it a secret
maybe if you bring it back,
I'll now know what not to do,
but if you came around me,
I'd probably still want to leave it with you
so if you have my broken heart,
and would like to let me mend it,
please don't bring it here yourself,
I'd ask you just to send it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
trial & error
It's been my understanding that I see the world very differently from many people around me.
I haven't walked this earth for too long in this lifetime, but I'm very conscious of the fact that I've been here before. I'm also conscious of things that people forget.
I think people need to understand that life itself is one big learning experience.
it's okay to mess up. it's okay to change your mind.
a mid-life crisis, in my opinion, is nothing more than a re-evaluation of your progress so far.
tack the words mid-life and crisis together, it really does sound catastrophic. but why describe it that way? we're still learning.
life moves quickly, and if you expect yourself to perfect it by the end then you're going to be very disappointed.
you can be imperfect and still be thrilled with the outcome.
we all are imperfect and perfect in our own unique ways.
we find these ways out through trial and error.
the life process is trial and error.
each direction we move in is a risk. at any moment the sky can open up, lighting can strike down and hit the exact spot you're about to step in. does it happen often? no. but do we realize, at least subconsciously, that there's a risk there? yes.
every new endeavor is not a guaranteed success.
we're allowed to make mistakes.
society has made it seem so that every time we change our mind, we're committing some social crime.
we're made to think that realizing something we didn't see before is a contradiction.
why learning and admitting it is so shunned, I'll never really understand.
through my own experience, I've been yelled at for questioning different schools I've been in.
my mother was angry that I wanted to switch majors, switch schools, etc.
but why is that so bad?
was I honestly to know what was in store for me? no way. not until I experienced it.
but we're just conditioned to think that we only have so much time to figure out everything. while that's true, it doesn't mean we should rush through life and simply go through the 'acceptable' motions.
we need to experience different things.
we need trial and error.
we need to fulfill that part of us that gets neglected when we only concern ourselves with rushing to figure everything out.
I haven't walked this earth for too long in this lifetime, but I'm very conscious of the fact that I've been here before. I'm also conscious of things that people forget.
I think people need to understand that life itself is one big learning experience.
it's okay to mess up. it's okay to change your mind.
a mid-life crisis, in my opinion, is nothing more than a re-evaluation of your progress so far.
tack the words mid-life and crisis together, it really does sound catastrophic. but why describe it that way? we're still learning.
life moves quickly, and if you expect yourself to perfect it by the end then you're going to be very disappointed.
you can be imperfect and still be thrilled with the outcome.
we all are imperfect and perfect in our own unique ways.
we find these ways out through trial and error.
the life process is trial and error.
each direction we move in is a risk. at any moment the sky can open up, lighting can strike down and hit the exact spot you're about to step in. does it happen often? no. but do we realize, at least subconsciously, that there's a risk there? yes.
every new endeavor is not a guaranteed success.
we're allowed to make mistakes.
society has made it seem so that every time we change our mind, we're committing some social crime.
we're made to think that realizing something we didn't see before is a contradiction.
why learning and admitting it is so shunned, I'll never really understand.
through my own experience, I've been yelled at for questioning different schools I've been in.
my mother was angry that I wanted to switch majors, switch schools, etc.
but why is that so bad?
was I honestly to know what was in store for me? no way. not until I experienced it.
but we're just conditioned to think that we only have so much time to figure out everything. while that's true, it doesn't mean we should rush through life and simply go through the 'acceptable' motions.
we need to experience different things.
we need trial and error.
we need to fulfill that part of us that gets neglected when we only concern ourselves with rushing to figure everything out.
I'm a little more than sick and tired of racism.
I think it's run it's course long enough, and it's done nothing but create difficulty for society's growth. I'm ready to put this nonsense to bed. Unfortunately most other people aren't.
I've heard racial jokes, and I've told racial jokes. That's not the problem. The problem is when we make someone feel like less of a person because of pigment in their skin.
Not long ago I went to a show put on through my school. I went alone, and it was majority black. I got such dirty looks that I left halfway through the show. When I tried to pass through an aisle, I said excuse me and got dirty looks. Nobody moved. So I found myself climbing over chairs.
I almost cried.
I don't care if people are mean to me in general, it's your prerogative. However, if I was with a crowd of whites and there was one black person there, I'd treat them with the same amount of respect as any other person there. Because they aren't simply a 'black person', they're a human being. That's just how I treat people. So when I'm looked at different, it hurts a little.
There's such a lack of mutual respect among human beings and it makes me sick.
So I'm moving forward with my life, and I'm going to continue to look past petty things like race and religion and culture.
Care to join me if you feel that you're mature enough to handle such a concept.
I think it's run it's course long enough, and it's done nothing but create difficulty for society's growth. I'm ready to put this nonsense to bed. Unfortunately most other people aren't.
I've heard racial jokes, and I've told racial jokes. That's not the problem. The problem is when we make someone feel like less of a person because of pigment in their skin.
Not long ago I went to a show put on through my school. I went alone, and it was majority black. I got such dirty looks that I left halfway through the show. When I tried to pass through an aisle, I said excuse me and got dirty looks. Nobody moved. So I found myself climbing over chairs.
I almost cried.
I don't care if people are mean to me in general, it's your prerogative. However, if I was with a crowd of whites and there was one black person there, I'd treat them with the same amount of respect as any other person there. Because they aren't simply a 'black person', they're a human being. That's just how I treat people. So when I'm looked at different, it hurts a little.
There's such a lack of mutual respect among human beings and it makes me sick.
So I'm moving forward with my life, and I'm going to continue to look past petty things like race and religion and culture.
Care to join me if you feel that you're mature enough to handle such a concept.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
doing it right.
Growing up, I never had a ton of friends. I was never popular, and I was never really pretty or cute.
It used to bother me a lot. I'd always wonder why nobody liked me, why I had so few friends. Why couldn't I be surrounded by groups of kids all the time? Why wasn't I invited to every birthday party?
My first two years of high school were similar. I just sat with people who I barely spoke to. I still didn't get it. I didn't get what I was doing wrong. I tried to show people that I had similar interests. But I was still not popular, I still was closed-off, I still never went to anyone's parties, or went to the mall with anyone.
Now I'm in my second year of college. I'm still not popular. But now I love it.
Because that whole time, I thought I was doing something wrong, when all the while I was right.
For every person that doesn't like me, I'm reminded that I'm living my life exactly the right way. I'm not living to please anyone else but myself. The more people that dislike me, the more I realize that I'm living for Alannah. Then I don't mind having a small amount of friends, because I know it's genuine. I don't mind not going out to parties, because I don't enjoy them, anyway.
Alannah would rather sit at home and spend quality time with quality people.
So I'd like to thank every person that doesn't like me for being honest, because you remind me that I'm doing it right.
It used to bother me a lot. I'd always wonder why nobody liked me, why I had so few friends. Why couldn't I be surrounded by groups of kids all the time? Why wasn't I invited to every birthday party?
My first two years of high school were similar. I just sat with people who I barely spoke to. I still didn't get it. I didn't get what I was doing wrong. I tried to show people that I had similar interests. But I was still not popular, I still was closed-off, I still never went to anyone's parties, or went to the mall with anyone.
Now I'm in my second year of college. I'm still not popular. But now I love it.
Because that whole time, I thought I was doing something wrong, when all the while I was right.
For every person that doesn't like me, I'm reminded that I'm living my life exactly the right way. I'm not living to please anyone else but myself. The more people that dislike me, the more I realize that I'm living for Alannah. Then I don't mind having a small amount of friends, because I know it's genuine. I don't mind not going out to parties, because I don't enjoy them, anyway.
Alannah would rather sit at home and spend quality time with quality people.
So I'd like to thank every person that doesn't like me for being honest, because you remind me that I'm doing it right.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
disgrace.
yesterday I read about a boy who killed himself because he was gay, and he couldn't deal with the grief the kids at school gave him.
I mean what more can I add to that?
what a disgusting world we live in sometimes.
I have so many problems with this that I have a hard time lacing all my thoughts on it together to post here.
odds are it'll come out like an angry mash-up.
but can you really blame me?
first of all I'd like to say that I think it's a crime that kids can make each other feel so poorly about themselves.
kids are cruel.
but where are the teachers?
you can't sit there and say no teacher saw this kid get picked on, because 1) if they did and didn't discipline the bully, they failed at doing their job, and 2) if they weren't around to see it, then they're still not doing their job.
the kid was about 13.
I don't even know what else to say
I'd say that it sucks that people can't be different, but he wasn't being different.
different from what?
everybody's different from everyone else.
so that's an irrelevant statement.
he was just a boy trying to be himself, and god bless him for that, but damn everyone who made him feel like he was less of a person for it.
he was more of a person than ANY of you and you have the rest of your lives to think about that.
I mean what more can I add to that?
what a disgusting world we live in sometimes.
I have so many problems with this that I have a hard time lacing all my thoughts on it together to post here.
odds are it'll come out like an angry mash-up.
but can you really blame me?
first of all I'd like to say that I think it's a crime that kids can make each other feel so poorly about themselves.
kids are cruel.
but where are the teachers?
you can't sit there and say no teacher saw this kid get picked on, because 1) if they did and didn't discipline the bully, they failed at doing their job, and 2) if they weren't around to see it, then they're still not doing their job.
the kid was about 13.
I don't even know what else to say
I'd say that it sucks that people can't be different, but he wasn't being different.
different from what?
everybody's different from everyone else.
so that's an irrelevant statement.
he was just a boy trying to be himself, and god bless him for that, but damn everyone who made him feel like he was less of a person for it.
he was more of a person than ANY of you and you have the rest of your lives to think about that.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
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